We had a clear vision of our life together that had been interrupted by his substance use disorder. I was eager, at times perhaps too much, to get us back on track. Without the cornerstone of Bill’s recovery, none of this would be possible again. The biggest concern among spouses seeking a divorce from a spouse in early recovery from addiction is the fear of relapse. This is a valid concern, but Twelve-step program also not a burden that you should feel pressured to bear. Along with infidelity and domestic violence, substance abuse is commonly reported as one of the most common “final straws” among people in the United States who seek divorce.

What To Do If You’re Divorcing An Addicted Spouse: Step-By-Step

Check out our blog posts and resource links for the latest information on substance abuse. The consequences of addiction on a marriage can vary according to the specific dynamics of a relationship, the type of addiction, how long your spouse has been struggling, and other factors. Addiction can affect virtually all areas of a person’s life. Within a marriage, this can show up in many different ways. First, addiction can impact a person’s ability to work, often resulting in worsened job performance, job loss, and difficulty finding a job. Drug and alcohol addiction can have effects on a person’s mind, body, and behavior.

Understanding the link between addiction and divorce can provide insight into the dynamics that lead to such decisions. It’s important to remember that people can recover from addiction when they are willing to put in the time and effort to get better. If you or your spouse are struggling with addiction and would like to seek treatment before discussing divorce, many options are available to you. It is important to set healthy boundaries and tell them what you need from them regarding marriage and taking care of the children. Don’t make excuses for their behaviors or cover up their addiction because that is part of enabling your partner.

Does alcohol impact the outcome of divorce?

If we don’t find the trust we’ve never known, I’m not sure how we can continue. I didn’t destroy our finances and I was never arrested. I never lost a job, never got into a bar fight and we almost completely shielded our children. When I got sober, I thought I had avoided major calamity.

Only one thing faltered in my sobriety: my marriage.

The partner in recovery may experience irritability and even have angry outbursts. Make time to process all the complicated feelings that may arise during this time in a safe environment. Grief is hard work, and a lot of people are grieving the loss of a partner during divorce. Add to that maintaining sobriety, and you have a full-time emotional job to complete. Do not make it harder for yourself by signing up for more obligations than those that are divorce after sobriety absolutely necessary.

Post-Divorce Challenges

If alcoholism was the cause of all of our issues, sobriety had to be the cure. Removing alcohol just lifts the veil of denial leaving all the problems exposed. Getting professional help for addiction may not always be enough to save a marriage. In some cases, participating in treatment with your spouse may make you realize there are other issues in your relationship beyond their addiction.

This is the part with the somber yet attainable happy ending. I need her to relax around me and know that her vulnerability will be rewarded with tenderness and protection. I need her to accept my compliments and let my praise have a positive impact on her outlook. And that kind of complete and unconditional trust might not be possible. Striving for these goals fosters a sense of forward momentum, anchoring you in a vision of the future that revolves around growth, not regrets.

At the same time, courts have broad authority to protect children. Custody and time sharing can be conditioned on sobriety, testing, or participation in treatment. Life after divorce can be a tumultuous experience, packed with new responsibilities, unfamiliar routines, and a range of emotional highs and lows.

She is a wonderful cook, she works hard at everything she does and she teaches our kids to love God and do the right thing always. She doesn’t have a materialistic bone in her body, and she weeps for the pain of the people suffering around her. Sheri is the best woman I’ve ever known in every imaginable way, and I adore her. When I first got sober, I expected my sobriety to fix everything.

Modification of Monitoring Requirements

• In addition, quitting drugs and alcohol also usually comes with mental health conditions, like anxiety or anhedonia (inability to feel pleasure).
• Ongoing vigilance may be required when children are involved.
• She frequently deals with complex, high net worth cases involving trusts, business and assets located outside the jurisdiction.
• Enabling behaviors can impede your spouse from seeking addiction treatment or progressing in their treatment.

The freedom to make independent choices about treatment, support activities, social connections, and lifestyle changes can strengthen recovery in ways that benefit long-term sobriety. Support groups specifically for individuals experiencing divorce can provide understanding and practical advice from others facing similar challenges. These groups offer perspectives on managing divorce stress while maintaining recovery and may provide models for successful navigation of both processes simultaneously. Emergency funds for unexpected recovery needs provide additional security during the uncertain period surrounding divorce. The emotional turmoil that accompanies divorce often brings feelings of loneliness and confusion to the forefront. It’s a period where the resolve to stay sober is constantly tested.

Make sure you have money set aside, and if children are involved, ensure they are safe. You may have to ask someone you trust to help watch your children while you figure out temporary housing and financial independence. A spouse https://ecosoberhouse.com/ who is struggling with substance abuse will go to great lengths to purchase drugs or alcohol, even selling off their possessions or going into debt.

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